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Podcast #24: Anal Play


In this episode we talk with Eva Blake, a certified sexological body worker, about all things anal play. A lot of people out there (both ‘inserters’ and ‘insertees’) are drawn to anal play but find themselves a bit unsure of where to begin, what to expect and how to do it. In this podcast, Eva answers all these questions and then some. What positions work best? How to do it safely? What kinds of sensations can you expect? All shall be revealed.

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Podcast #22: Shame! What is it good for?


(Absolutely Nothing!)

In this podcast we get the ball rolling by talking about Kinkfest, a big kink event coming up in Portland. We’re both really, really, really, really excited about this event. (Really). We talk through some of the events they have lined up and generally enthuse about the “infamous” parties in our near future. If you are going to this event, look us up! We’d love to catch up for a drink. If you aren’t going to this event, consider going to this event! You can find a registration form here. But Hurry, the deadline is 18 March.

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Podcast #21: How To Write A Post (without it blowing up in your face)


This podcast is about how to write a post on a kink forum without the whole thing blowing up in your face. I know it sounds a bit negative, but a lot of people out there have been burnt by a negative reaction to a post submitted in an online forum like Fetlife, She Makes The Rules or even this site. Now don’t get us wrong – we think that the resources available to learn and talk about kink online are amazing and valuable. If you are new to kink (or even if you aren’t) one of the best ways to get the most out of life is to learn from other people and to get involved in communities of like minded people online.

The thing is, to get the best result and to avoid big, nasty unpleasantness you need to do it right. Get it wrong and there’s a good chance you could find yourself on the explody end of a blog grenade of insults, criticism and general bad karma. Life’s too short for this kind of unpleasantness! In this podcast episode, AlphaDomme gives you the scoop on three things you can do to minimize your risk of a kaboom moment.

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Podcast #20: Fun With Pervertibles


In this podcast we talk about the chaotic, kinky frenzied fun of playing with pervertibles. ‘What are these pervertemawatchits of which you speak?’ I hear you ask with jowl-wobbling indignation. It’s easy really. Pervertibles are pretty much anything. Glad I could clear that up for you! Pervertibles are, in essence, any household “thing” that has been repurposed (or perverted if you will) to be a kink toy. The beauty of kink is that you can get creative. Sure you can spend thousands of dollars at your local kink store purchasing everything that inserts, inflates and incapacitates … or you could just raid your kitchen drawers! That is what this podcast is all about: having fun with the stuff you have to hand.

In the interests of academic rigor (and just because she likes being mean to me) in this podcast AlphaDomme demonstrates the usage of several such home items on me, and I in turn offer thoughtful critique by saying “aaargh!” at varying pitches and levels of wimpishness. The show notes below are intended to be a handy catalog to spark your own ideas. Have fun! And we would love to hear about your pervertible adventures.

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Podcast #17: Forced


In episode 17 of the Men Submit podcast we touch on a somewhat contentious topic. We talk about play that is “forced”. That is to say, those activities that are based around a scene in which the submissive has no control. We talk about why this can be such a difficult topic to negotiate and come up with some ideas for how to traverse the murky waters.


Why are we kinky? And does it matter?

Some of us spend a lot of time trying to figure out why we are the way that we are. We want to know why we like kink and why we are kinky.  Was it because of something we experienced in our youth?  Some mental or abuse issue? Why are we the way that we are?

I fall into the nature camp.  While I don’t discount the role of nurture, trauma, and any other effects on our lives, I’m a strong believer in nature.  I tend not to spend a lot of time ruminating on why I am the way that I am, but more time in being comfortable with myself and working on any negative issues that come up.

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Top five (flippant) predictions for the future of kink

future of kink-intro

So this weekend AlphaDomme and I got to talking about the future of kink. Over the next ten years or so, what will change? What social and technological shifts will we see?  Is our brave and kinky new world going to be a utopia or a dystopia? So, here is what I came up with. BUT before you begin reading you’re going to need to take your sensible hat off. Don’t just push it to one side – it needs to be all the way off. Seriously you should probably slide it over into the far corner of the room. Then put a paper bag over it so you can’t even see it. My point is – in no way is this a sensible and deeply considered commentary.

If wild, ill-considered speculation is not your thang, then maybe you should skip this post. Still reading? great! Without any further ado, here are my top 5 predictions about the next ten years of kink. What are your predictions?

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Podcast #16: Fantasy


In episode 16 of the Men Submit podcast, we explore fantasy. Is it ok to have them? Is it important to have them? Are some fantasies right and some wrong? We talk about all these issues and along the way I stumble into asking a very dangerous question, but emerge miraculously unscathed (although the night is still young.) We also answer a question posed by one of our very active members, Domesticsub.

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Podcast #15: Subspace


In episode 15 of the Men Submit podcast, we (AlphaDomme, Subtlyhers and betaboy) get our heads together to gab about the Shangri La of submissive experiences: subspace. Why are we all so obsessed with it? What does it feel like? How is it triggered? What delicious food analogies can we use to explore it? These and many more headscratchers will be dealt with in this podcast. Enjoy!


Kink Checklist

The more information a Dominant knows about their sub, the safer and more exciting their playtime can be.  Often people who are new in the BDSM scene need somewhere to start.  Or a partner may be embarrassed to talk about their desires, but ok with writing things down.  Or perhaps two people are just getting to know each other.  Kink checklists are a great conversation starter.  Remember, communication is the key to all relationships, BDSM and vanilla alike!

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