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Finding Your Domme: A Practical Guide

Finding Your Domme: Kink guide

So many men out there are desperate to meet a kinky and dominant woman, or a “domme.” But it is hard! Most submissive men will have their work cut out for them to find the kinky, dominant woman of their dreams. There are a lot of possible reasons for this. Men can feel uncertain about the “rules” of dating in the kink world. They may be unsure how to build an effective online presence. In fact there a whole range of potential pitfalls to avoid. Wouldn’t be great if a practical, sensible guide existed to make the process of meeting a domme easier? Well, now there is!

Announcing a new Men Submit resource: Finding Your Domme

We’re pleased to announce the release of Men Submit’s first book, “Finding Your Domme: Practical, Step-by-step Advice for the Submissive Man Seeking a Dominant Woman.” Written by a dominant woman and a submissive man with years of shared experiences, this book is a practical, step-by-step guide for greatly increasing your chances of finding the woman you seek.

What you’ll find in the book

There’s a lot going on between the covers of this book. The reason? finding the right person in the kink world is a surprisingly complex and taxing pursuit. It just isn’t easy or advisable to discuss the topic in the space of a few bulleted points. There are no short-cuts when it comes to the human heart. Here are the topics you’ll learn about in in Finding Your Domme.

Part One: Understanding Yourself

You could think of this section as a dating preparedness boot camp. The purpose here is to help you build a good foundation of self-understanding. You might feel pretty sure that you know what you want and what kind of person you are seeking. However, once you begin to actually get actively involved in finding someone, things can move quickly and in unexpected directions. It is all too easy to suddenly find yourself in a situation where you are not sure how to proceed. It’s in exactly this situation that mistakes are made and opportunities are squandered.

Therefore, before we go too deep into the practicalities of finding your domme, it’s good to delve into a few important questions.

  • What are you looking for?
  • What are you afraid of?
  • Are you prepared to spend time thinking about all these important questions and to revisit them, as you change and grow?

These are the kinds of questions that we’ll guide you through in this part of the book.

Part Two: Finding Your Domme Online

This is where things get juicy! Part Two takes the burgeoning self-understanding you have hopefully acquired through applying yourself to Part One, and dives right into the question of how you find that special domme. We’ll explore simple and effective ways in which you can increase your chances of approaching someone online, giving you some practical examples of what and what not to do.

Part Three: Finding Your Domme At An Event

In part Three, we take the same ideas you explored in part Two and we apply them to how you might meet someone face-to-face, at a kink event. We explore the kinds of events that are out there, and which ones it is best for a single submissive to focus his energy on.

Part Four: Dating in the kink world

In part Four, we look at the process of dating and first encounters, and how you ensure that you are both safe and putting your best foot forward. This involves paying attention to your attitude, your preparation and your behavior during the encounter. We’ll look at each of these in turn and give you some practical, advice on how to be at your best.

Based on hard won experience as well as detailed research on the experiences of many kinky people who have braved the singles kink scene, this book is the ideal companion guide for the submissive man who seeks to find the domme of his dreams.

Grab the book on Amazon.

BetaBoy

BetaBoy is the submissive hubby of Alphadomme. He loves writing, reading and generally living the adventure of making a female led relationship work. As geeky as he is kinky, he has a range of niche interests he'd be more than willing to share with you if you leave too long a pause in the conversation. He also likes to think that he is tall for his height and young for his age,

Comments

Sabado
Reply

Well done and good luck!

AlphaDomme
AlphaDomme
Reply

Thanks Sabado. We miss our Sydney friends and hope that you are doing well.

alan
Reply

I am anxious to find a woman strong enough yet worthy of my total desire to submit in all ways to her and help her be worthy and confident as a woman, spouse, a career oriented, independent lady. God, I’m hopeful, cant wait to read the book

AlphaDomme
AlphaDomme
Reply

Hi Alan,

I hope that you enjoy the book. While you are reading it, I encourage you to shift your thinking from how you can help her to be worthy to what you can do to be worthy.

MsRobbie
Reply

Good suggestion for Alan, Alpha Domme. (‘)(‘)

I’m not particularly in the market for this book (don’t much need to attract a Domme) but I’m curious about it nonetheless. Is Kindle the only available format?

Congrats
Robbie

BetaBoy
Reply

Hi Robbie

I’m sorry I didn’t notice your question until now. Yes, for the time being the only available point of sale is via the kindle store. However as we release further titles, our distribution points may well increase. Maybe even audiobooks, ultimately. :) but that is a long way down the pipeline.

GoddessErato
Reply

I have just written a Manifesto rant as a journal entry to the subs/slaves on CollarMe about this rampant dilemma and I am in the process of getting a sub there to collect the comments from the Domes- About ‘what and how they want subs to be’ especially how they feel being judged and criticized by subs on being a True Domme or not? ..I get this a lot and its time its dealt with…your thoughts Alpha Domme or any other dommes reading this?
I’ll copy it to a blog here over the next few days…GE

AlphaDomme
AlphaDomme
Reply

CollarMe is probably the lowest common denominator of the sites. For the men it is full of spammers and financial dommes. For the women it is full of men who are there only to get the rocks off online, or married guys who just want a kink quickie. There are a lot of problems with this.

First of all, men and women alike get frustrated and angry with all of the fakes and idiots. That anger and frustration starts to come across in the way we deal with people,

Second new men and women come on to that site and think that this is how things really should be on these sites, when this couldn’t be further from the truth. They think it is one giant kinkfest where anything goes and that you don’t have to treat people with respect.

It is not just the fault of men. There are women out there who are telling men that they must treat women this way or that way, usually because they are hoping to get money out of them. Then these guys think that they are supposed to address women that way, and are surprised when women do not like it.

I found that you have to get through 999 crap messages on CollarMe before you can hope to get one decent message. But that is where BetaBoy and I first met.

QueenBee
Reply

As soon as I saw your announcement, I clicked my way to Amazon and downloaded the book to my iPad. Congrats!

GoddessErato
Reply

@AlphaDomme-it surely is, but saying that I have also met many very real folk, women and men who I have shared and learnt much from (they certainly stand out from the rest I have seen so much in a short time over on CM good and not so good and that is why your site is a boon to the lifestyle. I have begun reading your new book too … :) !!! When I have time I’ll add more to the new profile section, thanks ever so much Beta Boy yey!

Zerris
Reply

I have left a five star review for the book on Amazon. AlphaDomme and BetaBoy I really appreciate the hard work the both you have put into the book and also into men submit. Congratulations!

AlphaDomme
AlphaDomme
Reply

Thank you Zerris. We greatly appreciate it.

BetaBoy
Reply

Thanks Zerris! Reviews make a big difference. It’s greatly appreciated that you took the time to do this.

[...] assignment from Miss Mia Fallon is an interesting one.  She instructed me to read a book called “Finding Your Domme” by Sydney (AKA AlphaDomme) and Logan (AKA BetaBoy) Hart, a couple who enjoy a Femdom marriage.  [...]

wes
Reply

Looks like a book i should read. So far i havent had trouble meeting a Domme, but i have had trouble finding one that was not sadistic

AlphaDomme
AlphaDomme
Reply

Wes – Thank you for the post. I assure you that there are Dommes out there who are not sadistic. Keep looking, you will find one for you. It is not a short journey to find someone compatible for you, but it is worth it.

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